


Why did you do it?

by aba_daba_do



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24011422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aba_daba_do/pseuds/aba_daba_do
Summary: Lionel finally asks a hard question.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	Why did you do it?

He rubbed the back of his neck, nails scratching at the line of his hair. He watched as the light of the refrigerator illuminated the soft curves of the boy’s face and dark hair, like ground spices or fresh dirt covered in morning dew. Cherubic really, if that statement wasn’t deeply ironic. It was all so normal. And he supposed that was the problem. Things were blissfully normal-- and he didn’t understand why. 

At first he tried to ignore it, there wasn’t any reason for him to get over involved in the normalcy. It was there, a proverbial elephant in the room, though he supposed it was far more dangerous than an elephant. And it wasn’t any of his business. But at night he thought about it, lying awake and looking for an explanation for why everything was still so normal. He made a list one night when he found it particularly hard to sleep with prosperous reasons like “Normal is just a state of mind” and “Perhaps it is all just a dream”. But those both seemed ridiculous. 

He wanted to know, and though it wasn’t any of his business, he had to ask. 

Lionel made sure that he wanted to speak, the words lingering in his mouth and trailing off the edge of his tongue. “Hey son?” The boy looked up, the freckles on his cheeks highlighted in the yellow fridge light. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” Dipper grabbed a can of Pitt Cola: Extra Pitt from the fridge and knocked it closed with his foot. He popped himself up onto the kitchen counter, or more so hovered over it by a foot. He cracked open the can with a satisfying his and took a sip. “What’s up?” He had those big brown eyes Lionel first fell in love with, but there was also a complexity to them. His gaze was so hopeful and bright, but if you looked a little deeper, you would see there was so much more. Something old, worn, and powerful. 

Lionel cleared his throat, trying to lean casually against the kitchen counter. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but...” 

Dipper cocked his head to the side, brown curls falling across his forehead, hesitant but curious. He took another sip of his Pitt Cola. 

He continued quickly, trying not to show any sense of being unnerved. “But I’ve really been wondering. Why did you do it?” 

Dipper threw his hands in the air, as if offering himself up for arrest of a crime he were clearly guilty of. “Fine! I knew I shouldn’t have let Belle eat all that cake. I didn’t think she’d get so sick and I personally have no reason for 12 cakes. I mean, I guess I could have eaten them all but I knew she would be angry with me if I didn’t share and it’s not like I can just get rid of things used in summonings-“ 

“Not the cake. But also, don’t do that ever again.” He bit down on his lip and the counter top dug into his side. “I meant being a part of our family. I can’t see a reason for a powerful demon to put everything on hold and join a normal human family, especially since you already had one. Not,” he rushed into his words, “that we don’t like having you. I mean, there’d be a hole in our lives if you weren’t here. But I can’t imagine that normal is or ever was your cup of tea. And despite everything that happened over the summer, things still feel very normal. It got me wondering. Why did you do it?”

“Oh.” Dipper stopped hovering and dropped onto the counter, sitting firmly on it and gripping his fingers around the ledge. He blinked a few times, tearing his gaze across the room, as if unsure. A corpse-like paleness leaked across his skin. 

“I’m sorry. That’s a pretty personal question. You don’t have to answer that.” 

“No, it’s okay.” Leaning back on his palms, Dipper stared at the ceiling. He was eerily still with thought. “I was just… tired. You can only do the same thing over and over for hundreds of years before wanting to do something different. And it made sense to, you know, reconnect with my humanity. I guess that’s why.” 

“You guess?” 

“Yeah. I guess.” His voice trailed off, like particles of dust in an old, abandoned house. You’d think that a demon would be better at lying. 

Lionel raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that? Because when we made that deal, you seemed pretty intent on the idea. You were so sure of yourself, that this was what you wanted.”

“I’m impulsive sometimes. I get an idea in my head and I roll with it.” 

He chuckled. “Sure, I’ll believe that. The kid who makes lists of lists and mulls things over for literally centuries made an impulsive decision.”   
Dipper finally took a breath, the exhaust of air tousling his hair. “Demonhood makes you into an unfamiliar person. I do terrible and impulsive things all the time…” 

Lionel inched closer to his son, until his side bumped into Dipper’s knee. “It’s okay to tell me the truth. There’s nothing you could say that would upset me. That is, unless you don’t want to. I don’t want to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with.” When he looked up, golden tears were bubbling up in Dipper’s eyes. They were large and cartoonish, almost like balloons swelling up in his tear ducts. “Dipper?” The tears streamed down his cheeks in thick gold cracks like the art of Japanese gold repair. 

He sniffed and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand, making the tears pop and spill like broken water balloons. They stained the back of his hand a shimmering honey color. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying. This is so stupid.” 

“It’s not stupid. If something is bothering you, you can tell me.” 

“I just wanted a second chance, you know,” Dipper muttered, a twisting crack in his voice; not the demonic kind, but the painful kind. “I was just a kid when all of this happened to me. I didn’t actually get to grow up, I just watched everyone around me grow up and learned from them. Everyone thinks I’m this ancient being, but I’m just a kid and I will be forever. I can’t take care of everyone and everything all the time. I needed something normal. I don’t know what I’m doing at all, I’ve just been making it up as I go and…” he hiccuped, and tried to smear the tears away again, though they kept on spilling against his will. 

Lionel put a hand on his son’s shoulder, “You needed someone to take care of you for a change? Huh?" 

Dipper nodded, “Yeah and…” He clutched to his stomach, nearly doubling over in grief. 

“What is it?” Lionel wrapped one arm around Dipper, using the other to wipe the tears from his face, even though the golden ichor burned at human skin. He tried to ignore the sizzle on his skin.

“I needed a family where I felt wanted. I needed to start over in a place where I wasn’t rejected or seen as a problem. When this happened to me, we tried to explain it to my mom and dad and…” he made himself as small as he could be, tucking his arms and legs in, perhaps even making himself magically shrink a few inches. “They didn’t know what to do with me. They had a funeral and when I became too much for them, they sent me and Mabel away, not that I didn’t love my Grunkles very much. But it felt like my parents didn’t want me. And I’m afraid that you don’t want me either because I forced you into this deal. And you’re probably so scared of what I would do to you if you rejected me.” 

Lionel never expected to see Dipper wail in such grief before. The human glamor had pulled off his eyes, revealing the golden irises and black sclera underneath. And his skin had begun to blacken and change, as if being charred away in a fire. It was confusing. Demons didn’t cry, or hurt. But this was no demon, he supposed. This was his son. 

“No. No.” He rushed to Dipper, carefully and affectionately putting his index finger under Dipper’s chin so he could force Dipper’s gaze upwards. “That’s not true. I want you so much. I want you now and I wanted you when I made this deal. I wouldn’t have gone through with it if I didn’t. I saw your face and I saw the person underneath who needed to be loved. Yes, I was nervous and scared, but also delighted to have a son— even if he was just a little peculiar. And I want you so much now, because you are mine and I love you with all my being.” 

“You do?” he sounded so unsure. And it broke Lionel’s heart. 

“Yes, of course. I want you no matter what. Human. Demon. Or something in between. I will never stop wanting you.” 

Dipper nodded, and even though he was about to say something, Lionel decided to ignore it and do something he hadn’t done since his twins were very small. He scooped his son into his arms and cradled him so close. It took Lionel pressing his cheek into Dipper’s forehead to realize he was crying too. And as he stroked his son’s soft, curly hair he whispered, “I will always take care of you. And I will always want you. You’re my son, and that’s all I’ll ever need.” 

Dipper was quiet for a moment, not saying anything, but holding tight to Lionel, as if he were still 3 years old and scared of thunderstorms or monsters lurking under his bed. “I’ve never told this to anyone,” he whispered. 

Lionel chuckled, “You’re a demon. Not some miraculous emotion-processing machine. As long as I’m around, you don’t have to let this stuff eat at you.” 

“Thanks, Dad.” He sucked in a solid breath, and then let it out in one slow and smooth gesture, as if finally remembering that he didn't actually have to breath. "Can you not tell Belle about this? She'll get all weird and lovey-dovey about it." 

Lionel grinned. It all felt very normal. "Your secret is safe with me." 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I ever wrote of TAU. Its been sitting unused in a doc for 3 years. I guess it was time for it to be free.


End file.
